“I want to be sure of you”

While talking with my fellow AOMP blogger, we found ourselves in very similar situations when it came to the guys we use to have in our lives. The ones who love us like no other, the one who would do anything for us and the one that tells you you’re extra special. You know which one I’m talking about: the one that doesn’t want to hurt us, but hurts us every time! The one that wants to be sure of you! I’m sure many women have heard this before and thought “Wow! He must really love me so much that he would rather not take the risk, sweep me off my feet and keep me forever!” The truth is that guy who says those fatal words really means he doesn’t want a relationship. Not with you, not with anyone and likely not even with himself. If they are questioning the possibility of a relationship or a previous one it means that they don’t care enough about the person they are delivering the line to. Let’s be honest here. If that guy really loved you the way he says, really thinks you’re extra-special, and never wants to hurt your feelings then why would he even need to think twice about you? Don’t go thinking that you’re not an awesome person who many people adore because you are that person! That guy doesn’t deserve you, your time, and everything else that is awesome about you. Don’t doubt the woman that you truly are because that guy wasn’t willing to put in the work and do everything in his power to make it work. Consider yourself lucky that you dumped him, or he dumped you, or you both called it quits together. I say this because that guy will never realize what he truly had with you and even if he realizes it, it’s too late because by then you’ve moved on and I know you’ve moved on because you are awesome! Now this is what I have to say to that guy: while you are busy taking your time being sure of that wonderful woman you never truly appreciated, she’s gone. Not only did you take too long, but you lost her before you even knew it. Good women don’t wait for that guy to be sure of her because she is sure of herself, and she is surely going to find a great guy who will be sure of her too. Oh, and one more thing: stop telling that awesome girl you lost things like, “I still love you obviously...will forever if not a very long time.” You have no business telling her things like that anymore because it means nothing if you aren’t together. Let her go, let her be free, she deserves to be with someone who will always be sure of her. If that drives you crazy you only have yourself to blame.

Journey into the New World

She just sat there on the train wondering if the world she has known for this long was going to disappear. She wondered if there could even be a new world after the old one. How could it come to this? Had she been living in denial this whole time? She kept thinking of what she could possibly do next to fix this broken world she was living in, but the truth is it's not up to her. For the first time in her life she was not in charge of the plans that were laid ahead just for her. She knew it was make it or break it time and the clock was ticking. She did not want to run out time. When is the moment she finally knows? When is the moment she finally breathes? She felt that this wasn't fair but that this needed to happen. She hated the fact that she had little control over the situation, she always felt her strongest when she had to be strong for someone else. This time, she had to find that inner strength inside of herself to overcome this hunger strike, to overcome herself. She was always her own worst enemy, but she feels more and more like being her very own best friend instead. His sanity is her and her sanity is somewhere within herself. She's looking for it but that old enemy of hers keeps getting involved. There will be a moment when she will breathe again, a moment when food will taste so good again. A moment when sanity is hers again and she will finally be her best friend instead of her own enemy. So she takes a deep breath, gets off at her destination and tries to keep in mind that she will be alright. This ending is only the beginning of her journey into the new world. She just needed to find a way to open herself up to the universe so she can find her way.

Can you see me?

If I wrote you a letter,
I would tell you all the things that you said and did that made me cry.
If I wrote you a letter,
I would tell you all the things you said and did that made me smile.
If I wrote you a letter,
I would start it by saying "I love you" and tell you all the things
I hate about you.
If I wrote you a letter,
I probably wouldn't send it to you because I know you would never write
me back.
So I'll keep it all inside, until you open up your eyes because I can't make you
see me.
But now that we've parted,
we were left sad and broken-hearted.
You finally admit that you saw me all along,
only now it's too late because I am finally moving on.
There is no more pain,
only lessons to be gained.
I won't bother to send you a letter,
I just hope in time you get better.
I wish you the best,
even on the days I feel like I could care less.

Welcome Stevie ;)

Sooo since I was on the blog adding another user to the account, I figured to go ahead and welcome her. Mon and I wanna welcome Stephanieeeeee to the blog. She's a writer so be prepared for some good shit. Maybe she'll make up for the lackness of our writing, lol. Apparently Mon said she'll blog more, maybe Stephanie will give her more motivation ;)

R.I.P Gregory Isaacs

The Cool Ruler died yesterday due to suffering lung cancer. He def made Reggae... Reggae!

:)

I know, I know it's about time...I just haaad to write.
You can proceed to bbm me now. los

The series finale

I'm just your friend.
No, no.. let me restart.
I'm just your special friend.

Your special friend whom you have to talk to everyday.
When you're happy, when you're excited, when you're frustrated, when you're bored.

Your special friend whom you do nice things for.
Not because she ever asks but because you know she'll appreciate it.

Your special friend whom you want to spend your free time with.
Because you just "loove" that you can chill and do nothing with her and still have a good time.

Your special friend whom you want to have sex with.
Because the tension is so high you can't lay beside her without touching her.

Your special friend whom you want to hold and play fight with.
Because you want to feel her warmth and watch her try to take you on.

Your special friend whom your patient with no matter how much she overreacts.
Because you just can't tell her to the shutup and hurt her like that.

Your special friend whose hand you felt like holding.
Just because.

Your special friend whom you can't stand to lose.
Because she means so much to you.

Your special friend that you treat differently from the rest.
Because she's "special" of course.

Your special friend who you've lost for the very last time.
Because you can't admit to yourself just how irreplaceable she really is to you.

Atleast she knows.

Sharing with you what I had shared with me...

"There's really no end to what I go through
It's just a circle of aversion that goes round and round
I got myself in too deep
I don't even remember my way out
I used to feel the essence of Love when we were first together
and thought it was the best feeling in the world
Now
I have this lethargic feeling running through my veins
When did all this start
When will it even stop
Am I allowing my heart to get blurred by the best of me
I used to be the type to let my mind speak first
Then he came along
He let me feel what Love was
and at a blink of an eye... I got blinded
Then my mind forgot where it stood and my heart took over
I sit here now
Wondering if I put a stop to it the first time
Would he have continued to treat me this way
Hurt me this way
As if I were a doormat
I don't know when I'll feel the true meaning of Love again
Does it even exist?
Or do we just go by the idea of Love based on what we see in movies and read in novels
We get so deep into it we forget who we are and how we should be treated
Maybe one day
One day, he will learn that you can't take Love for granted
That it won't always be there waiting for you
It won't always be there to forgive you for your many faults
Or be there for how badly you decide to treat someone
At the end of the day
I look at myself in the mirror
and
Think
I am my mother's daughter"