The Break-Up Phase

After a break-up there are so many mixed feelings that we all go through: sad, depressed, angry, hopeful, doubtful, and even happy moments. The happy moments are the ones we want to hold onto, but are easily stolen from us because the menacing jerks (anger and sadness) are greedy and don’t know when to take a walk when we ask them to. Of course, it doesn’t help when you’re still in a “relationship” even after the relationship has ended. What exactly is the break-up phase? It’s the relationship you’re still in even though you have broken up; the one where you’re not friends but are best friends and you really don’t want to be either. It’s the part where you are still confused about not being lovers anymore, but want to be intimate even though you shouldn’t. This is the phase where you have to learn how to manage all those feelings as well as this new “relationship” and still have your sanity intact. It’s not an easy road, but it’s a road we all walk on at some point. Let’s face the truth and admit that it’s not easy to quit cold turkey. Trying to move on is next to impossible when you are still wondering how they are doing, what they are doing, who they are with and are they happy? Talk to one another as comfortably as you can. If once a week or month works for both of you then do it because they are wondering the same things too. You are not crazy and you are definitely not pathetic either. It’s normal to still want them even though a large part of you doesn’t want them at all. It’s a long process to get out of the break-up phase, but it is not impossible. Stay busy! Read a book, go for a walk, call your girlfriends and put on your freakum dress, do whatever you need to do to stay busy. Eventually the feeling of wanting will fade and you will begin to want to spend more time with yourself. This will be the relationship you were seeking all along and the best one you could ever have. By this time when the Ex has called for their yearly (monthly, bi-weekly or weekly) check-up, you have already been well on the way to recovery and have even forgotten that their birthday has just passed. However, be nice to them. They may not have gotten pass the phase like you have and if you don’t want anything to do with them, kindly tell them so. Breaking up is hard to do but the phase after the break-up is the hardest part, but never impossible to get through!